Couples Counseling
Rebuilding Connection, Trust, and Understanding
Every relationship has its joys and challenges. Falling in love often feels effortless — the laughter, the intimacy, the excitement of building a life together. But over time, even the strongest couples can struggle. Communication may break down, old hurts might resurface, or differences in values, backgrounds, and personalities can start to feel overwhelming.
If you’ve found yourselves stuck in patterns of conflict, feeling disconnected from your partner, or simply wanting to strengthen the foundation of your relationship, couples counseling can help.
I’m Dr. Matthew R. Schottland, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with over 16 years of experience working with individuals and couples. In my practice, I offer compassionate, collaborative couples therapy in Washington, DC — a space where you and your partner can be truly heard, understood, and supported as you work toward greater closeness and lasting change.
What Is Couples Counseling?
Couples counseling (sometimes called marriage counseling or couples therapy) is a supportive process designed to help partners better understand each other, improve communication, and navigate challenges together. It’s not about assigning blame or “choosing sides.” Instead, it’s about fostering deeper empathy, healing old wounds, and creating healthier patterns of relating.
In my work, I focus on the relationship as a living, dynamic partnership. I draw on contemporary psychoanalytic psychotherapy, mindfulness practices, and relational approaches to help you and your partner:
Explore the dynamics that shape your interactions
Uncover the roots of recurring conflicts
Learn new tools for communication and conflict resolution
Rebuild trust, intimacy, and mutual understanding
Strengthen your ability to navigate challenges as a team
How Does Couples Counseling Work?
When you and your partner come to see me for couples counseling, the first few sessions are devoted to getting to know both of you as individuals and as a couple. I’ll invite each of you to share your perspective — your struggles inside the relationship, as well as the personal experiences and histories that shape how you relate to one another.
During this process, I listen carefully and compassionately, with the goal of making sure each partner feels valued, seen, and truly understood. Together, we’ll begin to identify the patterns, stressors, and unspoken dynamics that may be keeping you stuck.
As we move forward, I’ll work with you to:
Set meaningful goals for your relationship, grounded in your shared values.
Build practical skills for navigating conflict, improving communication, and fostering connection.
Hold one another accountable to the changes you want to make, so your growth translates into everyday life.
Revisit and refine strategies as your relationship evolves, ensuring that therapy remains relevant and supportive.
Couples therapy is an iterative process — meaning it’s not about quick fixes or rigid solutions, but about ongoing exploration and growth. Each session gives us the chance to reflect on what’s working, what isn’t, and what new approaches might help you move forward together.
How Often Should We Come to Couples Therapy?
One of the most common questions couples ask is: “How often should we attend counseling?”
While every couple’s needs are unique, I typically recommend starting with weekly sessions. Meeting weekly helps build momentum and consistency, and it allows us to establish a strong therapeutic foundation. It also ensures that the insights and skills you gain in one session stay fresh as you put them into practice before the next.
That said, I understand that life can be complicated. Work, childcare, and financial considerations all play a role in how often you’re able to come. Therapy should support your life, not add unnecessary stress. We’ll use our first few sessions to discuss your goals and circumstances, then design a schedule that feels sustainable. As we move forward, we can always adjust the frequency based on your progress and comfort level.
Why Work With Me?
As a licensed clinical psychologist in Washington, DC, I bring a unique combination of expertise and lived experience to my work with couples. My training includes a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology from The Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA, a Master’s in Psychology from New York University, and advanced training in Contemporary Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy (Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis, 2023).
I also hold certification in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) from the Ketamine Training Center (2025), and currently practice part-time at Washington Interventional Psychiatry. This allows me to bring a nuanced, integrative perspective to our work, combining traditional therapy with mindfulness, meditation, and emerging psychedelic-assisted approaches when appropriate.
As a gay man, I’m deeply committed to offering LGBTQ+ affirming couples therapy, where all identities, relationships, and ways of loving are respected and celebrated. I understand the unique challenges that LGBTQ+ couples may face — from navigating coming out to dealing with family or societal pressures — and I provide a safe, affirming space for these important conversations.
What to Expect on Your Journey
It’s natural to wonder how quickly you’ll feel a difference once you start couples counseling. Some people experience a sense of relief simply from having a safe space to share and feel heard. Others find that lasting change takes time as old patterns are unpacked and new ways of relating take root.
Your progress will depend on several factors, including:
The specific challenges you and your partner are facing
The effort and openness you both bring to the process
The strength of the therapeutic relationship we build together
I will be an active partner in your growth, offering compassionate listening as well as direct feedback and practical guidance. Together, we’ll explore the deeper layers of your relationship — the hopes, fears, and unspoken needs that shape your connection. From there, we can chart a path forward that helps you both feel more connected, supported, and fulfilled.
Begin Reconnecting Today
Every couple faces challenges, but you don’t have to face them alone. With the right support, you and your partner can learn to break unhelpful patterns, communicate more openly, and reconnect with the love and meaning that brought you together in the first place.